


Love always finds a way

by Sadieestar710



Category: A Star is Born (2018)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2019-11-12 17:32:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18015290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sadieestar710/pseuds/Sadieestar710
Summary: A different type of story for these two.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I can’t seem to shake these characters, their love and devotion. There aren’t enough stories being written for them so I guess I need to dive deep and get at it. Sorry I haven't ever written a fanfiction before so it probably isn't the best formatting.

Everything from the movie except Jack dying. Fast forward a few years. They have a 3 year old daughter named Holly. Ally has taken some time off to be a mom and occasionally goes on the road with Jack, who is still touring the country. Jack still struggles with drugs and alcohol, though it isn’t as bad as it was before. He tried rehab but it just didn’t last. Ally loves Jack and had hoped that her and Holly would be enough to get him to change his ways. He really did try, but the lifestyle on the road always pulled him in. Ally would often be at home with Holly. When she was on the road with Jack he usually did well. He knew if he didn’t she wouldn’t sing with him. She also told him if he ever was high or drunk around Holly she would leave. He knew she wasn’t kidding, she took being a mother very seriously and would do anything to protect Holly, even if that was from the love of her life.

Scene:  
Home

Ally is playing on the piano with Holly sitting next to her. She is softly singing the words to a new song. “When I’m here and you’re gone, I keep wishing that I could make you stay. How can I be enough for you? How can I make you choose me, choose us.”

She doesn't hear Jack walk in. He has been gone for the last week, playing a gig out west. He smiles watching her play.  
He falls in love with her more everytime he hears her sing. She is so pure and she sings from her heart. He listens to her words and his smile falls.  
He knows the us she is singing about is not just Jack and Ally, but Jack, Ally and Holly. Does she not realize that he chooses them everytime? That he lives for them. 

He walks up behind her and gently kisses her cheek. She stops playing and looks back up at him. Holly jumps up and into Jack’s arms.  
“Daddy! Daddy! Daddy’s home!” she screams.  
Ally smiles at Holly. She loves her daddy. Jack has always made Holly his biggest priority while he is home. Ally gets up and Jack leans in to give her a long kiss. He has missed her. He loves being on the road but nothing beats this, being home with his family.  
“God I love you” Jack says.  
“Mmm I’ve missed you, so has Holly” Ally says.  
“Next time come with me. It is always better when you are there singing with me. I have a gig next month” Jack tell her.  
Ally looks at him for a while. She hasn’t been on the road with him in almost 8 months. She loves singing with him, but she knows how he is on the road. He is a different man, one she isn’t proud of. But, maybe it will help them, they haven’t been close for a while now. She feels them drifting apart the more he goes on the road without her.  
“Ya, ok. You, me and Holly like the old days. It could be fun.” Ally says hopefully.  
Jack and Ally look at each other for a real long time. Both hoping that this could be good for them.

The next few weeks go by uneventfully. Jack spends most of his time with Holly. He tries to get close to Ally.  
He knows she is growing cold and distant and he can’t understand why. They were gonna go on the road together again. He thought that would make her happy. That he wasn’t leaving her behind. He really hoped this would help them.  
And he loved having Holly with him. He didn’t think he would be a good dad, no matter how much Ally tried to convince him otherwise.  
But as soon as he saw her he loved her unconditionally. He would do anything for her. 

Today was the day they would be leaving to go on the road for a few weeks.  
Ally was finishing packing up some of Holly’s toys.  
“Ready to go? We need to be on the road soon so we can get to the hotel before dark” Jack tells Ally.  
Ally snaps at Jack “I know. Why don’t you get your daughter’s things ready then.”  
Jack recoils. He walks away without a word.  
Ally knows she shouldn’t have talked to him that way. He was really trying with her. She finishes up and yells for Holly to get going. She meets Jack on the bus. She walks up to him and kisses him hard. She wants to make this a good time for them all. She wants to try. Jack smiles up at her.  
“I love you Ally”  
“Me too Jack, me too.” 

Holly is sitting with Jack banging her fingers against the keys of the piano. Jack is laughing at her.  
His daughter is already in love with music. She loves to sing with her mommy and daddy.  
He starts humming the lyrics to Shallow and Holly starts to sing along. He knows how happy it makes her to listen to him sing.  
Ally watches them. She loves Jack like this. A father. It takes them 5 hours to get to the hotel.  
When they get there Holly is already asleep. Ally lays her down in bed. Him and Ally lay in the bed next to her, exhausted. They know tomorrow will be a long day. They are back on the road and have their first gig tomorrow night. Ally lays her head down on Jack’s chest. She hears him breathing and looks up at him.  
She loves him, she really does.  
She wakes the next morning nestled in his arms. She doesn’t want to get up. This is what she loves most. Just laying down next to him. Feeling his touch.  
She hears Holly yawn and looks over to her. Holly is sitting up and smiles at her mommy.  
She jumps out of bed and plops herself right between Ally and Jack. Ally laughs. Jack stirs, then opens his eyes. Holly is inches from his face now smiling at him. “Wake up daddy, wake up. I want to play now.”  
Jack is up now and getting Holly’s toys out. He starts building a tower with her. Ally knows that soon they will be on the road again.  
Ally gets up and gets in the shower. When she gets out Jack and Holly are dressed. They order room service for breakfast before they have to go back on the road. 

They get to their destination in the afternoon and Jack and Ally rehearse for the show.  
They sing Shallow and Music to My Eyes. Holly looks on from the side stage. Ally and Jack are swaying to the music, singing together has always brought so much happiness to them both.  
When it comes time for the show Ally is giddy with excitement. It has been so long since they have performed live together. She is wearing a short dress, much to Jack’s happiness. She loves the way he looks at her like she is the most beautiful woman he has ever laid eyes on.  
She knows that through his time as a rockstar he has been with countless women before her but when he looks at her she forgets all about that. It is as if they were always together, always one.  
She gets behind the piano to start playing Music to My Eyes when Jack motions for her to get up. She looks confused but walks toward him.  
“I don’t want you back there baby. Sing with me tonight.” Jack tells her looking into her eyes.  
Ally melts. She nods her head slowly, sheepishly.  
They start singing to each other, forgetting about the crowd. They sing to and for each other. They sing of their love, of the good and the bad that they have endured together.  
When they finish their set Ally is alive with happiness. She runs into Jack’s arms and he scoops her up and kisses her.  
Holly runs out to them and they laugh as they break away from each other. Jack bends down to her and whispers “I think it is time to get you to bed little girl.”  
Ally is excited to celebrate their night and agrees to let Holly stay with Bobby for a few hours so that she and Jack can hit some of the after parties together. 

When they get to a hotel room full of people she sees the drugs laid out on the coffee table. Booze is everywhere and people are already trashed.  
She looks at Jack who is already off to talk to some guys on the couch. The girls are half naked and leaning on the guys.  
Jack doesn’t even notice one of them who puts her hand a little too high on his thigh. She knows Jack would never cheat on her. He is far too devoted to Ally but Ally is getting mad. No, she is pissed. She remembers now why she stopped touring with Jack. It wasn’t the gigs, it was the after parties. The partying.  
Before she can say anything a guy starts talking to her. She looks up at him kindly. She says he has always been a fan of hers. Her voice. And that her solo career ended too soon. That she needs to get back in the spotlight. She is flattered. She hasn’t thought about her own career for years now. She was too focused on Holly and her marriage.  
Her marriage- the one that she feels crumbling.  
She looks over to Jack. He has a drink in one hand and is laughing at something one of the guys said. She can’t be here to witness this.  
She gets up to leave when Jack calls her over. She looks back at him. She slowly walks toward him, shooting daggers that he seems to either miss or ignore. 

“Baby, listen to this. Ricky here knocked up his girl. Can you believe that?” Jack slurs.  
Ally just looks at him with a sad look on her face.  
“Knocked her up huh? Like you did to me? Ricky take a hint- go home and be with your girl. Quit this life for her sake. If you want to make it last” Ally says staring straight at Jack the whole time.  
“Oooh sounds like someone isn’t happy with you Jackson.” Ricky taunts.  
“She never is Ricky. Nothing new there” Jack says laughing.  
Ally looks at him disgusted as he downs another shot.  
“Goodbye Jack. Don’t bother coming back to our room tonight”  
Jack looks up at her and laughs. “Baby come on I was just joking around.”  
Ally looks at him “I’m not.” and she turns around and walks away sadly.

She takes the elevator down to Bobby’s room and knocks on the door. She is teary eyed at this point and just wants to take Holly back to her room and go to bed. Bobby answers and lets her in, seeing how upset she is. “He is back at it isn’t he. I told him this wasn’t a good idea bringing you along” Bobby says sadly “He really does try Ally when he is home with you and Holly but once he gets on the road he reverts right back to his rockstar ways. I’m sorry”  
“It isn’t your fault Bobby. This is all on him. I just don’t know how much more I can take of this shit. I always told him I would stick by him, I made that promise in front of God, but I have to put Holly first, always. We can’t come on the road with him, not when he is like this. And he is on the road it seems more and more lately.  
Bobby looks at Ally who is crying now. “You need to worry about yourself too Ally. Go get Holly and go back to your room. Relax and try to get some sleep. I’ll take care of Jack”  
Ally nods and goes into the back room and scoops up Holly. She lugs her back into their room and lays her down. She crawls in next to her and cries herself to sleep.

What feels like hours later she hears shouting from the hallway and hears banging on the door. She rushes out of bed and hears Jack and Bobby.  
Jack is screaming “That is my wife and daughter in there. You can’t tell me not to go in there.”  
Bobby is quieter but firm, “Jack, Ally needs to sleep. Holly needs to sleep. You can talk in the morning.”  
Jackson is still banging on the door.  
Ally doesn’t know what to do but she knows she doesn’t need Holly waking up to this, so she opens the door quickly and steps outside into the hallway.  
Jackson looks surprised to see her. “See Bobby I told you Ally would let me in”  
Ally looks up at Jack whose eyes are glazed over and is stumbling to stay upright.  
Ally closes her eyes and then looks up at Jack. “I told you not to come back here Jackson and I meant it. Your daughter is sleeping and I don’t want her to see you fucked up like this. This is it Jack. I’m done. Go stay with the guys tonight, or hell one of those pretty girls who were falling over for you tonight. Just leave me alone.” Ally cries.  
Jackson is stunned into silence. He looks at her deeply. “You don’t mean that Al. I know I fucked up but we love each other. I love you. I love Holly. Don’t do this to me.”  
“I love you too Jack. But sometimes love isn’t enough. I will always love you but I can’t live like this anymore. Always wondering what you are doing when you’re on the road while I am at home taking care of our daughter.”  
She turns around and walks back into her room, crying softly as to not wake Holly. She hears Bobby telling Jack he can take his bed. That he needs to sleep it off. Eventually Jack goes.

Ally can’t believe she actually told Jack she was done with him. She felt sad. She loves Jack but she knows this isn’t healthy for any of them. If he isn’t willing to get help and change his ways then she can’t be with him. That was all there was to it. She falls asleep crying and wakes up the next morning to Holly playing with her dolls on the bed beside her. When Holly sees Ally is awake she jumps into bed and hugs her tightly.  
“Where’s daddy? Uncle Bobby said I would see daddy when I woke up. Where is he mommy?” Holly cried out.  
Ally looked up at her daughter, their daughter, sadly. What is she supposed to tell her?


	2. Finding our footing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ally and Jack both finding their way apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me for this chapter. I promise after this we will see more Ally/Jackson. Just stick with it. Next chapter will be worth it. I would love people's feedback too!

Fast forward 2-3 years.

Jackson and Ally are divorced. Holly is now 6. Jackson and Ally have kept up a friendship through the divorce, which took time to get there. Jackson went to rehab shortly after the divorce and stayed there for 3 months and has been sober ever since. He tours less and spends more time with Holly. Ally put out a new record last year and Jackson was her biggest supporter. They started dating other people within the last year. Jackson has been with a few different women, none of them sticking. Ally has been with her agent, Matt, for the past 7 months. He is a nice guy and is good to Ally but he is no Jackson Maine.

Scene: Ally’s house  
There is a knock on the door.   
“Hold on” Ally calls.   
She is finishing getting dressed and runs to the door to open it. In walks Jackson, who is here to get Holly for the night.   
“Hey, sorry I know I am a little early”  
“No problem, Holly will be happy to see you, do you mind?” Ally gestures to her back. Her dress is open at the back and she looks to Jackson to zip it up.  
Jackson zips her dress up slowly, still in awe of how beautiful she is. That is something he hasn’t ever forgotten, no matter how long it has been since he’s really been with her, he remembers every inch of her body and how good it felt to touch her.   
Ally shivers as she feels Jackson’s hands against her back. She looks up at him slowly and they both hear screaming from the stairs.  
“Daddy!!” Holly runs to Jackson. He picks her up and spins her around.   
“Hey baby, you ready to go?” he asks  
Holly runs to Ally and gives her a big hug.  
“You look so pretty mommy. Tell Matt I say hi” Holly says  
Jackson looks at Ally. He knew she was getting serious with Matt, but he doesn’t like the idea of Holly getting so close to him. I mean the guy seemed nice enough, he treated Ally well, and Holly too, but he still didn’t like him.   
“Bye Ally, I’ll drop her off Sunday around dinner time. Have fun tonight. You look beautiful.” He turns and walks away holding Holly’s hand.

“Why does he always do that to me?” Ally thought out loud.   
No matter what, Jackson still has an effect on her. But, she knows that ship has sailed long ago. There was a reason why she divorced him. Yes, he is sober now, but he should have gotten sober long before she left him. Holly and her deserved it. And now, she is happy. Matt is great. He is reliable and truly loves her and Holly. Not to mention Jackson has had a different woman every few months now. She swears they keep getting younger and younger. No surprises there though, Ally thought. I am 11 years younger than him… 

She finishes getting ready when she hears the door open.   
“Hey Al. It’s just me” called Matt.  
She put on her shoes and walked into the living room where Matt was waiting.   
“Ally. Wow. You look incredible.” Matt says as he walks up to her for a kiss.  
“Thanks honey, you look pretty good too” she replies.  
“How did I get so lucky? I don’t know why anyone would ever let you go.” Matt says. Ally knows what he is trying to say. He doesn’t really like Jackson. He feels that he caused me so much pain.   
“Ok, let’s get going so we don’t miss our reservation.” Ally says, grabbing her purse and heading out the door.

Restaurant:  
“So how is work” Ally asks Matt.  
“It’s been busy. I actually wanted to talk to you about that. I have a client in the UK and I have been assigned to be there with them as they work on a film.” Matt says.  
“That sounds… good. How long is it?” Ally asks.  
“That’s the thing- it’s a 47 day shoot. So probably 2 months. I may not make it home for visits, but you can always come!” Matt says  
“Oh Matt. 2 months? Really? If I can get Jackson to agree to it, I’m sure I can come for a visit.” Ally says sadly.  
“Ally I know that this is a long time. But, I’m not worried about us. We will talk everyday. I love you. If I thought this would be bad for us I never would have agreed to it”   
“I know. We will be ok. I love you too Matt” She says holding his hand.  
The one thing Ally knows is how hard it is to have a long distance relationship, no matter the length of time.  
“When do you leave” Ally asks  
“Sunday afternoon, I tried to get them to delay, but they wouldn’t budge. But, at least Jackson has Holly for the weekend, so we can spend it just us.” Matt says 

Ally’s house  
“Hey Ally. I love you. It’s gonna be ok. We are gonna be ok. I’m not Jackson. I won’t forget you.” Matt says, watching Ally. Ever since they got back home, she has been quiet.  
“I know Matt. It’s just been so good with you, and I’m afraid of what could happen.” Ally confesses.  
“Let’s just enjoy this time we have now. Not worry about me leaving, ok?” Matt says stroking her cheek.  
Ally nods her head. 

They spend the next 2 days enjoying each other. Ally was so afraid to let him go. She hates being alone and is afraid of what 2 months away could do to them. What if he meets someone better?   
Sunday comes, and Ally is sad but doesn’t let Matt see it. She drives him to the airport and kisses him deeply before he boards the plane. She drives home crying. 

At 6:00 the doorbell rings, and Ally rushes to answer it. She sees it is Jackson and Holly and wipes the tears away before they can notice.  
“Hi Holly! Boy have I missed you this weekend” Ally fakes excitement as Holly rushes in for a hug.   
Jackson sees right through Ally though. He knows her too well. She is visibly upset about something.  
“Holly why don’t you go upstairs and set up a game. I’ll come up and play with you in a few minutes ok?” Jackson says.  
“Ok Daddy!” Holly says rushing up the stairs.

Jackson pulls Ally into a hug. She was taken aback.   
“Ally you can’t fool me. What’s wrong” Jackson asked worriedly  
Ally lets out a feeble laugh.  
“Oh Jack, I never could fool you.” She says looking sadly up at him.  
“Matt got a job in the UK. He has to be there for 2 months. He wants to make it work but I’m scared.” Ally says, tears streaming down her cheeks.  
“Ally, look at me.” Jackson says, pointing her chin up. “He loves you. You are smart, beautiful, kind and the most amazing human being I’ve ever met. He would be an idiot to walk away from you. Trust me, I know.” Jackson says the last part quietly, but Ally still hears him.  
Ally pulls away, “Thanks, I know I’m overreacting. We’ll be fine. I’ll be fine.”  
“Daddy! I set up the game. Are you coming to play? Holly yells from her room.  
Jackson laughs and looks at Ally, “Want to play?” he asks her.  
“No, I’m just gonna make dinner, you can stay if you want. I know Holly would like that.” Ally says.  
“Ok. Ya, sure. Thanks Ally. And remember, I’m always here for you.” Jackson says looking right at her.  
“Thanks Jack.” Ally says walking into the kitchen.

With Matt being away, Ally has been trying to keep herself as busy as possible. She still talks to him everyday, and he keeps asking her to come visit, but something always comes up with Holly or Jackson. She is happy though that Matt calls her every night. She likes knowing that she is the last thing on his mind before he goes to bed. It has been hard not having him around. Especially for the Music Awards Ceremony in a few weeks. Her and Jackson are expected to attend as presenters. Ally is sure that Jack will have some pretty young blonde at his side, and she wishes she had Matt. She hates these award shows, she gets nervous talking in front of that many people. She is just happy she isn’t up for any awards. She has her final fitting for her dress next week and she is so excited to see it all done. She showed Matt at the last fitting and it made his jaw drop. Just what she wanted. She knew she was showing a lot more skin than she usually did; she may have wanted Matt to see what he was missing. 

One week before the Awards:  
On the phone  
“Hey Jack. Are you still ok with taking Holly tomorrow? I have so many things to do before the award show.”  
“Of course, you know I will take any excuse to see more of Holly” Jackson says.  
“Thanks, I will drop her off after school. Have a good day. Bye Jack.” She says hanging up.  
“Bye Ally” Jack says.

Jackson knows he is going to look pathetic without a date for the awards show. There was one woman he was seeing but it just didn’t work out. She didn’t like the fact that he has a child. He knows Ally will be going alone, as Matt is still out of the country for the next few weeks. Maybe he will ask if she wants to go together, as friends, just friends.

Next day, Jackson’s house

The doorbell rings and Jackson opens the door to Ally and Holly.  
“Hey there” he says bending down at Holly and giving her cheek a kiss.   
“Thanks so much Jack. I will pick her up in the morning for school.” Ally says  
“No don’t worry about it. I can drive her.” Jackson says  
“I actually wanted to ask you something” he says nervously.  
“Ya, what is that?” Ally asks   
“The awards show coming up. I mean we both have to go. I know you’re upset that Matt won’t be going with you. It is hard to do these red carpets alone. So I thought maybe we could go together. I mean just as friends. We won’t take photos together or anything. But just for support. I hate these award shows.” Jack rambles on  
Ally laughs, “Jack I’d like that. I’m surprised you don’t have a beautiful girl to go with”   
Jack looks at her, “I do now.”   
Ally’s smile fades. She hates when he says things like that. They confuse her. But, to be honest she is happy she won’t have to go to the awards solo. She is thankful Jack felt the same way.

Day of the Award show  
Ally’s house

Holly is staying at her fathers for the night and Ally has been getting ready for hours with her team. She forgot how long it took to make herself red carpet ready. They only have an hour before Jackson will be coming over and they will have to leave. She still has to do her makeup and put on her dress, shoes and jewelry. 

45 mins later.  
Ally is finally ready to go. She is wearing a sheer black dress, and all you can see is a bodysuit underneath it. Risky, especially for Ally. But she wears it well. She is wearing 5 inch heels, and a beautiful necklace that really lights up her face. She isn’t wearing a whole lot of makeup, and her hair is down naturally. She wanted to make a statement with her dress so she left everything else natural.   
The doorbell rings and Ally gets up to answer it. She knows it’s Jackson and she takes a deep breath before opening the door.


	3. Show time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night of the awards show. Both Jack and Ally are feeling on edge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some may have seen this coming, but none sees where it will go from here. Comment if you want more.

The doorbell rings and Ally gets up to answer it. She knows it’s Jackson and she takes a deep breath before opening the door.   
Jackson looks right into Ally’s eyes. Then he stares her up and down. “Wow, quite a different look for you Al” he says.   
Ally cocks her head “different good, or different bad? Because I know this is more risky than I go, especially for a red carpet, but I saw it and I found it to be so simple yet so daring. I never go daring. But I feel good. Do I look ok? Are people gonna hate it?” Ally rants  
Jackson laughs and grabs her hand. “Beautiful, stunning Ally. People are going to go even crazier for you when they see you.”  
He lets go of her hand and she swallows before nodding. “Ok the car is waiting for us, we should probably go now.” 

They walk out to the car. Ally is already feeling anxious. She always drags Ramon to these types of things with her so that she isn’t so on edge. She just wishes Matt was here with her. She takes a deep breath and looks around the limo. She spots a bottle of champagne and opens it, pouring herself a glass. She takes a big gulp, noticing Jackson watching her.  
“I’m sorry. I’m being very insensitive. I just need something to take the edge off. You know I hate red carpets and interviews” she says with her eyes turned down towards the floor.  
Jackson looks at her. “Hey, it’s gonna be ok. You have me at least. I know I’m not as fun as Ramon or as amazing (he says mockingly) as Matt, but I promise I’m here for you. You get uncomfortable and just give me a nudge. I’ll save you.”   
Ally smiles softly at him. She finishes off the glass and sits back with her eyes closed. 

When they arrive, Jackson helps Ally out of the limo. The flashes go off everywhere. “Ally, Jackson, over here”, “Ally look this way”, “Ally where’s Matt? Are you guys over already?” , “Jackson look to your right” Ally tightens up, looks over at Jackson and keeps walking down the red carpet. 

Interviewer:  
“So Ally tell us, where is your beau at tonight?”  
Ally smiles into the camera, “He is in London for work. He will be coming home soon. I do wish he was here though.”  
“You look amazing, I bet he wishes he was here too” they say laughing  
“I did pick this dress with him in mind” Ally says winking.  
“Of course you did. Lucky guy! So you came with ex-husband Jackson Maine tonight we see”   
Ally looks to her left to see Jackson interviewing with someone else.  
“Yes, we both get nervous at award shows, and figured some moral support couldn’t hurt.” Ally says.  
“It is amazing how you guys have stayed such good friends. We sure miss you guys singing together. Think any duets could be in your future?” the interview asks hopefully.  
“I think we are better off singing solo, less fighting” Ally says laughing.

After they walk the carpet, Ally and Jackson take their seats. She can see that Jackson is feeling anxious too and she is sure if he could he would be having a drink right now. It hasn’t been easy- staying sober. She knows there are moments where it haunts him. The first year after rehab he relapses a few times. He had to fight to stay sober. And there were always triggers for him. She was proud of him though. He hadn’t touched a drop in over two years now. She smiles over at him and grabs his hand. He looks over at her and smiles and nods his head. She knew him too well. He loves Ally. He never stopped. How does one stop loving their soulmate? He knows she is better off without him, even now that he is sober. She started thinking of herself more. He held her back, he wasn’t there enough for her after Holly was born. It is his fault, and only his fault, that they aren’t together. He has made peace with that. But there are still moments where he looks at her and it’s just like the first time he saw her. His heart beats a little faster and a smile creeps on his face. Like when he saw her tonight. She looks breathtaking, leaving very little to the imagination. Though he knows every inch of her. He hasn’t forgotten. 

After the show Jackson and Ally head to the after party being held at the Beverly Hills Hotel. She goes over to talk to some music industry friends at the bar. Jackson looks around, feeling lost. He then feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns around and sees it is a new musician that he met a few months ago at the studio. Her name is Kat Stevens. He smiles at her.  
“Hey there. Fancy seeing you here.” Kat says.  
“Hey Kat. How’s it going. You look great” He says giving her a hug. She did. Kat was 29 with blonde wavy hair, and was wearing a short sparkly cocktail dress.   
“Thanks Jackson. I’m so excited to be here. This is just amazing. Welcome to the music industry huh?” she says laughing.  
They keep chatting about music as Kat just released her record last month. 

At the bar Ally is drinking with a few industry execs she has known for years. She glances over Jackson’s way and sees him talking to Kat. She rolls her eyes. When they were together Jackson truly paid no attention to other women. Now, though, they were attracted to him, knowing that he was single. And he paid attention. Not that it was any of her business. He can do whatever and whoever he wants now. She is happy with Matt and Jackson deserves to be happy too. She downs another drink and looks away.

Around 2 am, Jackson finds Ally talking in the corner of the bar.  
“Hey Al, ready to go home? I’m getting pretty tired”  
She looks up at him. He can see that she has a slight buzz to her now.   
“Ya, sure. I’ll meet you outside at the car” she says  
He goes and gets his coat and walks outside. Once inside the limo, Ally arrives only minutes later.   
“Sorry I left you in there. I hadn’t talked to Adam or Scott in a long time. It was nice to catch up” Ally says  
“It’s ok. I had a good enough time. Just not really my scene anymore.” He says  
She smiles at him. They arrive at her house, where his car is.   
Jack steps out of the limo and helps Ally out.  
Ally smiles up at him “If you want you can come inside for a little bit. I’m still feeling a buzz and I’m not ready for bed quite yet”  
Jackson nods his head and follows her inside.  
He takes off his coat as Ally does the same.   
“I’m just gonna go change real quick, ok?” She says already making her way upstairs.  
He sits down on the couch.  
About 10 minutes later Ally walks down the stairs, wearing an old band tee and a pair of shorts. He didn’t think it was possible for her to look more beautiful than she did earlier, but she does. He loves when she looks like this. No makeup, her hair down and her clothes relaxed. It’s the Ally that he fell in love with.

She sits down next to him on the couch.  
“I really am sorry for leaving you at the after party. I know you were having urges. But you resisted. I’m proud of you Jack” She says smiling up at him.   
He nods his head. He doesn’t like to admit when he feels that way. He sometimes hates the way that she knows what’s going on inside his head all the time.   
“I’ll always resist. For Holly... and for you Ally.” Jack says softly.   
Ally looks at him sadly. Sometimes she just looks at him and she sees the man she fell in love with and she forgets that he isn’t hers anymore.   
“I’ll always want to be better for you Ally. I failed you once and I won’t do it again” he says  
“Oh Jack” is all Ally can say.  
She can feel her heart racing. Maybe it’s just the alcohol talking but she says “Jack, you never failed me. All you ever did was love me and believe in me. I gave up on us too. I’m sorry”   
He looks her right in the eyes then and leans down and kisses her softly.   
She pulls away. “Jack” she says. Then she grabs him by the face and pulls him down in a hungry kiss. She isn’t thinking straight, but feeling his hands all over her, his tongue circling her mouth. She moans deeply and he stops kissing her. She closes her eyes and nods her head at him. He grabs her and pulls her down on top of him. He lifts her shirt over her head and is not surprised when she isn’t wearing a bra. He is surprised though that when he pulls her shorts down he also finds she isn’t wearing anything underneath them. He smiles, god this woman drove him crazy. She clawed at his pants, urging him to take them off. He pulls her off of him and takes his pants off, throwing them across the room. He then lays her down on the couch, and hovers over her. She pulls him into her and the need for them to feel every inch of the other is so intense. When he enters her, Ally moans and digs her fingernails into his back. “Fuck Jack. I missed fucking you” Jackson laughs and they spend the next few hours exploring each other, missing how the other felt and relishing in each others every touch. They fall asleep on the couch.

The next morning:   
Ally opens her eyes and looks around. She sees Jack sleeping next to her. Oh my god, Ally thinks. So, that really happened. Oh no! That really happened.   
Ally jumps up, waking Jackson up.  
“What’s going on” Jackson asks half asleep  
“Jack oh my god Jack. What the fuck did we do? I cheated on Matt? I love him. Jack this was a mistake. We never should have done that. We just got carried away. I had been drinking and the stress of the award show…” She starts ranting.  
Jack grabs her hand.  
“Ally. Stop. Clearly you felt what I felt or we wouldn’t have gotten so carried away. No matter what happened there is still something there, something between us. Can’t you feel it?” Jack says.  
“No Jack. We stopped making each other happy. We stopped being good for eachother. I love Matt. I’m happy. This was a mistake. We need to forget it ever happened. Ok?” Ally says frantically.  
“Ally. I love you.” Jack says   
“Jack, leave” Ally says looking away, “please leave”  
Jack stands up and puts on his clothes. He looks over at Ally, who is gathering up her clothes, covering herself now. As if he hasn’t seen her naked before. He starts to walk away. “I’ll come get Holly tomorrow night.” he says before opening the door and leaving.

Ally sits on the couch and cries. She loves Jackson, but she loves Matt too. Matt is good for her. He is steady. He loves her and Holly. He will be home in a few weeks. She loves him. What happened with Jack was just old feelings getting the best of them. She has to continue to tell herself this for the rest of the day, before she hears a knock at the door.

She opens the door to her dad and Holly.  
“Mommy” Holly screams running toward Ally.  
“Hey baby, did you have fun with Gramps?” she asks  
Lorenzo looked at her and frowned. He could tell she had been crying.   
“Holly go put your stuff away in your room. Then, I’ll make us some dinner” he says.  
“Ok, what happened?” he asks Ally.  
Ally breaks down. He tells her dad what happened with Jack.  
“Oh Ally. I knew you were never really over him.”   
“I’m happy with Matt, dad. I don’t want to give that up. I won’t give that up.” Ally says.  
“Ok, that is up to you. If you stay with Matt though you need to figure out your feelings for Jack, and fast.” Lorenzo says.  
“My feelings for Jack are in the past. I know we don’t work as a couple. We fought all the time” She says.  
“Ok. Then you should make sure Jack feels the same way or things could get pretty ugly.” Lorenzo says.  
“I told him. I know he wasn’t happy about it. But I think we will be ok” She says hopefully.


	4. Lying to ourselves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think everyone saw this coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope people are reading, I mean it doesn't really matter. Writing this has been cathartic for me in a way. I forgot how much I enjoyed writing and these characters are easy to write about.

For the next couple of weeks Ally tries to keep her distance from Jack. She asks her dad to do more drops offs and pick ups than usual. She feels grateful that she has him. She tries not to think about what happened with Jackson. She tells herself over and over again that it was a mistake- just old feelings. She knew the sex between them was never the problem. It went a lot deeper than that. Which is why they broke up in the first place. Plus, Matt is coming home soon and she loves him.   
Holly’s birthday is in a few days and when Ally asked her what she wanted she had one wish. She wanted a day with just her mom and dad and then stay up late and watch a movie together. Ally asked if she could invite her dad and Ramon but Holly insisted it was just her mom and dad. Ally sighed and knew she had to give Holly this, it was a simple sweet birthday request and she would just have to suck it up and deal with seeing Jack.   
She texted him and told him Holly’s idea and that maybe they could take her to Disney too. He texted back right away saying that it sounded good and that they could have movie night at his place.   
So Ally had 3 days to prepare. 3 days until she had to spend the whole day with Jack. It will be fine she kept telling herself. Holly is there. It’s her birthday, she wants her mom and dad together. Nothing more than that.

The day of Holly’s bday

Ally wakes up early and heads downstairs to make Holly her favorite breakfast- chocolate chip pancakes. When she is done she brings them upstairs to Holly. She gently wakes her up with a kiss to her forehead and a whispered happy birthday. Holly opens her eyes and smiles. She bounces up and puts her hands around Ally.  
“It’s my birthday! Oh pancakes! It’s gonna be the best day ever!” Holly yells.  
Ally laughs at her daughter. She watches her scarf down her breakfast and bolt out of bed.   
“Can you please tell me where we are going today?” Holly begs  
“No, me and your dad decided we wanted to surprise you. He should be here soon so go get changed and head downstairs” Ally says walking back to her room.  
Now she had to decide what she would wear. She goes with a pair of shorts and a black tank top. She pulls her hair up in a bun and wears just a touch of makeup.   
She hears a knock at the door and Holly starts screaming and running down the stairs.  
“Daddy’s here!!”   
She opens the door to Jack who picks her up and twirls her around.  
“Happy birthday baby girl.” He gives her a kiss on the cheek and looks up when he hears someone walking down the stairs. It’s Ally. He looks at her and smiles looking down.   
“Hey Ally, you girls ready to go? It’s someone’s birthday and I think she wants to party” He says.  
“Let’s go!” she said calmly.  
The car ride is quiet save for Holly singing at the top of her lungs to every song that comes on the radio. She is definitely her parents child. When Holly sees where they are going she screams.  
“Disney! You guys are the best! I knew today would be the best day ever!” Holly screams.  
Ally and Jackson smile at her.  
They spend the day going on all the rides and eating all the food Holly wants. They then go to dinner at Holly’s favorite restaurant. When dinner is over they head back to Jack’s apartment. Holly requests for them to watch Beauty and the Beast (2017 version of course). Ally makes popcorn while Jack grabs blankets for them. Holly sits in between them and rests her head on Jackson. Ally looks over at them and snaps a picture. Jackson looks over at her and she just shrugs her shoulders, “too cute not to” she says.  
Jackson smiles. Ally looks back at the TV. They had a surprisingly good and normal day together. Maybe what happened between them was just nothing. They have always been there for eachother and that shouldn’t change just because they slept together. It’s not like they’ve never done it before. She looks over at him again and she sees he is watching her. She hates the way he looks at her and it is like he just sees inside her. He knows everything she is thinking just by the way she looks. Her eyes always give her away.   
She looks away and he leans across Holly and holds her hand. She stares rights at him and looks to Holly, who is now asleep on Jackson. She grabs her hand away “Holly should sleep. Can you bring her to her room?” Jack gets up and picks up Holly and brings her to her room.   
He comes back to the living room and sees Ally sitting on the couch. He sits down next to her. She leans her head against his chest.   
“Jackson. What happened between us… it was just sex. Amazing sex, because we know every part of each other, but that is all it was. I love Matt and he is coming home next week. Jack, please don’t make this harder than it already is. Walking away from you will always be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I did it because I wanted to be the best possible parents to Holly. She deserves to have parents who love each other and are there for her, and we are now, because we don’t fight like we used to.”   
Jackson looks at her quietly. “Ally, you know there is still something between us. You’re choosing Matt because he is easy for you. Our relationship may not be easy but hell that’s love. I fucking love you Ally. Don’t you see that? Everytime I look at you I think back to the first time I saw you; I remember the way my heart beat a little faster as you sang La Vie en Rose. Then, as we got to know each other I realized that I had been waiting my whole life for you. I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner- how I should have gotten sober years earlier. It will always be my biggest regret.” He looks over now and sees Ally, a tear escapes her eye. She doesn’t know what comes over her, the past- how good he felt, how he always made her feel like she was the only person that mattered, but she leaned over and kissed him. Just one quick kiss. But he doesn’t let go. And she doesn’t stop him. He pulls her up and leads her to his bedroom. As soon as he shuts the door, she is on him. She relishes in his every touch. The way he knows what she likes; his tongue dancing in her mouth and his hands wrapped around her waist. She isn’t thinking straight anymore, she feels like she did the first time they had sex, almost 10 years ago, after he pulled her up on stage to sing Shallow with him. They don’t rush this time. They take their time with each other. And when they are done they fall asleep laying in each others arms. 

Ally wakes up to the sounds of her phone ringing. She groggily answers it before seeing who it even is.  
“Ally? Where are you? You aren’t home”   
Ally bolts up.  
“Matt? Why are you at my house? You aren’t supposed to be back for another week”  
“They finished up early so I wanted to surprise you and I knew yesterday was Holly’s birthday so I figured I’d come back and celebrate with you guys.” Matt says.  
“We went to my dads yesterday and we spend the night” Ally says as she starts picking her clothes up off the floor. She sees Jackson start to stir so she goes into the living room.   
“Ok, well how about I meet you back at your place later, around 1? I’ve missed you” Matt says  
“Ya, ok 1 sounds good. I missed you too Matt. Love you” Ally says hanging up.   
She sees Jack now standing near the doorframe to his bedroom.  
Ally starts to put her clothes on.  
“So, Matt’s back?” Jack asks  
“Ya, they finished early and he wanted to get back here for Holly’s birthday” Ally says not looking at him.  
“So that’s it then? You’re going to pretend this didn’t happen and go right back to Matt? You’re fucking kidding me right?” He walks up to Ally and takes her face in his hands.  
“I fucking love you Ally. I will never stop loving you. I know it won’t be easy and sometimes we will fight and you may even hate me from time to time, but I will never stop loving you.” He kisses her slowly.   
Ally takes a deep breath, “I need time Jack.. I don’t know what to say right now. Just give me time.” she says crying.  
She grabs her stuff and starts to leave but turns around.  
“Tell Holly I will come get her later. And that I love her. I’ll talk to you later Jack” Ally says walking out.  
Jack takes a deep breath. He knows he loves Ally and that deep down she loves him too but he damaged her, she will choose Matt because he is safe for her. He won’t treat her the way Jack used to. He knows it is his own fault. He just wishes that he could have been the safe one for Ally.

Ally gets to her house and pours herself a glass of whisky. She doesn’t know how she is supposed to react to what Jackson told her. And now Matt is back. She loves him, she really does. She doesn’t know what to do anymore. Jack was her whole life for so long but she has moved on and she is happy. She takes a bath and when she gets out she sees Matt has texted her saying he was on his way over. She quickly drys off and gets herself dressed. When she hears the knock at the door she feels like she can’t breath. She hasn’t seen Matt in almost two months. A lot has happened in those two months.  
She opens the door and Matt is smiling at her.  
“God I missed you.” He says as he grabs her and kisses her.  
“And I missed doing that” he says.  
She looks up at him. Matt is so pure. He really is a good guy. She kisses him back.  
“I love you Matt. I’m glad your home” she says.   
They sit in the kitchen together as Ally makes them lunch. Matt tells her all about his time in the U.K. and then he asks how it has been back here for her.  
“ Good, fine. Holly was so excited yesterday me and Jackson took her to Disney for her birthday” Ally says  
“That sounds good. I saw Jackson has a new play thing this month” Matt says  
“What?” Ally asks confused.  
“There was a video of him getting close with that new artist Kat.” Matt says.  
Ally looks down, she should have known there was something going on with them.  
“No surprise there. I saw them together at the awards after party” Ally says   
She knows it shouldn’t bother her, she has Matt, but of course it did. Every time she saw him with another girl it bothered her.   
Her and Matt spend the day together just talking about the what they had done the last two months, of course with Ally leaving out the two times she slept with Jack.

 

As the next few weeks went by Ally couldn’t stop thinking about Jackson. She felt she was betraying Matt by not only sleeping with Jack but also perhaps still having feelings for him. She knew she would always care about him and in a way she will always love him. But, what was she feeling now? Was it lust? Sleeping with him made her feel a way she hadn’t in so many years. It made her feel loved and protected by someone who knew every part of her and not just physically, though that didn’t hurt. The more time she spent with Matt since he had been back the more she realized that the only thing she felt with him was safe. And safe wasn’t a bad thing, but was safe what she wanted with someone she loved? Love wasn’t safe, love is messy. She knew in her heart that even though she wasn’t ready to explore anything with Jackson, she couldn’t keep leading Matt along anymore. She had to end things.

Matt enters Ally’s home and calls out for her. He finds her crying on the couch. He worriedly walks over to her and takes a seat next to her.  
“Ally, what’s wrong baby. Did something happen?”  
Ally looks up at him, sadly.  
“Matt. I love you.” she says stopping and not knowing what to say now.  
“Ally, you know I love you too. What’s going on?” he asks scared.  
“I love you. You have kept my heart safe this past year. You have helped me to be a better person and to take care of myself. But the love I have for you isn’t the love we need to make this work. You deserve someone who is thrilled by you, who is willing to love you properly, the way a relationship should be. Maybe it’s all my fault, maybe I’m too scared to do the hard work that was needed. I’m sorry Matt. I really am.” she cries.  
Matt looks down.  
“I felt this coming. Me being away didn’t help but I saw the signs of you pulling away. You weren’t ready to jump in and be completely free with me. Not the way you were with him anyways.” he says  
“Matt this has nothing to do with Jack.” She says quietly, hoping she sounds convincing.  
“It always has to do with him Ally. It always will. But I respect that. You’re not ready. I hope that one day you find someone who cares for you the way you deserve. You are so amazing and don’t forget that.” he says getting up to leave. He then turns around and looks at her.  
“It’s so clear that things were never over between you two, no matter how hard you’ve tried to fight it.” he walks out the door, leaving her crying.

That night Ally picks up Holly from her Lorenzo's house. She tells him about Matt, not about the Jackson part though. He looks at her sadly.   
“I’m sorry Al. I know you really wanted to move on.”   
She looks up at him and just nods her head. She walks out with Holly without saying another word.  
That night she tucks Holly into bed trying her best to not let her daughter see her sad. But Holly is quite perceptive.  
“Mommy why do you look sad?” she asks  
Ally is taken aback by her daughters question.   
“I’m not sad baby. I’m just tired.” she says   
“That’s what Daddy says too.” Holly replies looks up at her mother.  
“Daddy looks sad?” Ally asks  
“Yes but he tried to hide it. Says he is tired. He must be tired a lot.” Holly says.  
“Goodnight baby. I’ll see you in the morning.” Ally says, not wanting to continue this conversation.  
Ally goes back to her room and cries herself to sleep. 

A few days later Ally texts Jackson asking if he can keep Holly for a few days. She wasn’t feeling very well and just wanted to rest. Jackson asked if there was anything he could do, but she said she would be fine, just a stomach bug.   
Ally knew it wasn’t the stomach bug. She felt the same way when she was pregnant with Holly. The nausea, tenderness and moodiness. She knew she had missed her period, but sometimes that happened with her so she didn’t think much of it. She was scared. She slept with Jack twice, but she also slept with Matt when he came back. She knew she needed to get to the doctors and find out once and for all. She books an appointment for tomorrow and waits anxiously.


	5. A baby?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is she pregnant? Who's baby is it? Ally is going to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me longer to post, I had it done a while ago but kept going back and forth because I am feeling stuck after this chapter, I have some ideas for the next one but not enough. Please Please Please tell me what you'd like to see!!

Next day, doctors:

She goes to a doctors an hour away from her house, she wore her hair in a bun, no makeup on and casual clothes hoping no one would recognize her. She spent the morning crying and vomiting. She knew she looked like shit.  
The doctor comes in and talks to her after she gives a urine sample.  
“You are definitely pregnant. Now to find out exactly how far along.” the doctor says  
The doctor performs and ultrasound on Ally as she tightens up, knowing this would determine the rest of her life, and who the father was.   
“Well it would seem you are about 8 weeks along.” the doctor says   
Ally lets out a sigh of relief. It was Jack’s baby. She didn’t even realize until then just how happy she was. After Holly was born they always talked about having more kids. She knows this isn’t the ideal situation but maybe this was the sign she was looking for. That she was meant to be with Jack all along. Maybe they needed a break in order to find their way back to each other. She smiled, excited at the prospect of a baby.   
“So I know you are aware that you need to stay healthy, stress free. Take your vitamins and I will see you in about a month” the doctor says.  
Ally gets down from bed and gets dressed. She knows she needs to talk to Jack. This changed everything.

Ally texts Jackson and tells her that they need to talk and if it was okay if she came over. He said of course, nervously. When Ally got to his apartment she realized just how nervous she was. How was she supposed to tell Jackson that she was pregnant? What would he say? She knocks on his door. Jackson opens the door and looks at Ally, sensing her nerves.  
“Ally, is everything okay?” he asks concerned  
“Like I said, we need to talk.” she says walking inside. Ally takes a seat on his couch and waits for him to follow.  
“What is it? Is Holly okay? Are you okay? Are you feeling better?” he asks really concerned now. Normally Ally is the calm and collected one. But she is radiating anxiety right now.  
“Holly is good. I went to the doctors just to make sure I was ok..” she says  
“Oh my god Ally, what’s wrong? I thought it was just a bug” he asks scared  
“Not a bug Jack, a baby” she says finally looking him in the eye.  
“What?” he asks confused. What was she talking about?   
“Jack- I’m pregnant” she says.  
He looks down. Of course she’s pregnant. He knew just then that he lost his chance with her. Matt would forever be hers, she was having his baby.   
Ally sees the hurt in his eyes and is confused for a minute until the realization hits her. He thinks its Matt’s baby.   
“Jack, it’s your baby. I’m 8 weeks along. Looks like we had a little too much fun after the awards.” she says laughing a little.  
“Wait, our baby? Ally are you serious right now? We are having another baby?” He says with a spark in his eye she hasn’t seen in ages.  
“Yes baby, we are having another baby.” She says tearing up.  
“God Ally. I love you.” he says, grabbing her and kissing her tenderly. This right here and now was the happiest he had been in a long time. The woman he loved so much, the woman he had lost, the woman who found her way back to him. He didn’t deserve this.   
“Ally, I promise if you are willing to give me another chance I will make you the happiest woman. I’ll care for you the way you deserve. I’m sober now. For you, for Holly and for this baby. I have been for a while now hoping that one day this moment would come.  
Ally looks up at him, she is full on crying now.  
“Jack I realized something being with Matt. He was my safe choice. But I don’t want to love safely. I want the good and the bad. I want to make love to you after we have a stupid argument, I want to share my songs first with you, I want your advice, your comfort and your love. I want it all. With you Jack. I’m sorry I gave up on us. On you. “ she says  
“Hey, you didn’t. I did. You were the most important thing in my life and every time I left you I screwed up. Hell, leaving you while I went on the road- that wasn’t fair. Then getting fucked up while doing it- no wonder you hated me.” he goes on.  
“I never hated you Jack. I was just tired. I didn’t want to work on us anymore. I gave up and I’m sorry. I won’t ever take us for granted again. Being your wife was a privilege, and I hope one day I can take that role again” she says  
“Can that day be now?” he asks her. She looks at him confused and he gets up and goes to his room. He comes back a few minutes later and sits back down next to her. He grabs her hand and placed her old ring back on her finger.  
“You kept it?” she asks sadly  
“I knew one day it would find its way back where it belonged.” he says   
She hugs him. He knew all along that they would get back together? He really was incredible. She was so glad he never gave up hope for them.   
“Cocky much huh” she says teasingly.  
“Maybe, or I just believe in us” he says

She gets up and leads him to his bedroom.   
“Holly is staying with my dad tonight” she says  
He grabs her and kisses her. He never wants to let her go. They make love softly and slowly, knowing they have an eternity together.  
After, he holds Ally close as she falls off to sleep. He presses his hand to her stomach. She isn’t showing yet, and he knows it is still early. He closes his eyes and thanks God for this miracle baby. His wife truly was a remarkable woman and once again she is carrying his child.  
He goes to sleep that night the happiest he had been in years.

Ally wakes up first the next morning. She looks over at Jack, he still has his arms wrapped around her. She forgot how much she loved waking up in his embrace. He slowly opens an eye.  
“Hey” he says  
She smiles at him.  
“Good morning my love.” she says happily  
“Do we need to get up today Ally. I want to stay like this forever.” he says groggily.  
“I wish, but I have to go pick up Holly soon. You can come with me if you want.  
“I’d like that. I want to talk to your dad anyways. Do you think I should ask him for your hand in marriage, seeing as I didn’t the first time around?” he asks laughing.  
“I think you’re a little late on that… again” she says smiling looking down at her ring. 

They drive to Lorenzo’s. They are silent most of the way, just enjoying being near each other. Jack is caressing Ally’s thigh. A little too high if you ask her. Her hormones are crazy right now and all she wants to do is jump him.  
“Hey, you look tense, it’s gonna be ok” he says to her.  
“Telling my dad that I’m pregnant with my ex-husband’s baby is not exactly a walk in the park” she says sarcastically.  
“How about telling him your pregnant with your fiance’s baby? Will that help” he says winking at her.  
He didn’t realize that even though she had forgiven Jack, her dad still harbored some anger for him.  
“I know he hates me. I broke his daughter’s heart. He would be crazy not to” he says  
Sometimes she hated how he could read her like that.  
“He doesn’t hate you Jack. He just hates the choices you made, but he also knows I was never really ever over you. He even told me that not too long ago. I think he knows even though you hurt me that no one made me feel as alive as you did. As you do.” she says looking up at him.  
“Well here we are. I guess we will find out by his reaction soon enough” he says


	6. You are my everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Ally try to figure things out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this written so I figured I would post it, but after this I don't know where to go. Any help is appreciated. Taking requests.

As they walk up the stairs Ally turns around to look at Jack. “I’m not ready to tell Holly yet ok? I want to wait until the right time.” she says.  
“Ok Ally, I’m following you” he says smiling at her. She smiles softly at him.

“Hey dad I’m here” Ally yells as she and Jack enter his house.  
“In the kitchen” Lorenzo yells back.  
Ally looks at Jackson and nods her head, seeing he is nervous to go any further.   
She grabs his hand and leads him to the kitchen. When Holly sees them enter she runs to them.   
“Mom, dad, you’re both here! I’m so happy. Me and grandpa were making lunch. Now you both get to stay and try it!” Holly says excitedly.   
Ally and Jack laugh and take a seat at the table. But not before Lorenzo notices the ring on Ally’s right hand. He looks to both of them.   
“Hunny, can you go outside with Charlie for a bit. I need to talk to your parents.” He says looking at Holly.  
“Ummm, sure.” Holly says grabbing Charlie, but looking confused.

“Ok, spill. What the hell is going on with you two?” Lorenzo says as soon as Holly shuts the door to outside.  
Ally knows Jackson won’t be the one to say anything here so she begins,   
“Uh, dad. Me and Jack have decided to get back together. We may have a lot of challenges but we love each other and I can’t, we can’t, deny it any longer.” she says grabbing onto Jackson’s hand, feeling the nerves radiating from him.  
“There’s something else, isn’t there? This is too fast even for you two. Just a few weeks ago you were dead set on moving on from him.” Lorenzo says looking at Jackson.   
Ally bites her lip. She rubs her finger against Jackson’s wrist, conveying, or trying to, that she wasn’t moving on from him.   
“Dad, I love Jack. I thought I could move on, but the past few months I found myself falling for him again. Maybe I never stopped, maybe I finally opened my eyes to what was right in front of me from the beginning. And I’m pregnant” she says matter of factly.  
Lorenzo just stares at his daughter. Then at Jackson.  
“You’re what? You’re having a baby? How is this even possible? You know what, don’t answer that.” Lorenzo says laughing.   
“A baby. Oh my, look I can’t say I’m that surprised you’re back together. I was more surprised when you guys split up. This was inevitable and everyone knew it. So, I’m happy for you both. And another grandchild, I can’t wait!” Lorenzo says getting up to hug his daughter.  
Then he looks at Jack seriously, “I always want what’s best for my daughter. And if you fuck this up again I won’t forgive you. She deserves the world and you better give it to her this time.”   
Jack stands up and hugs Lorenzo, surprising him.  
“I don’t deserve her and that I know. I promise you, and Ally, that I won’t fuck this up. I love her too damn much. I was stupid to take it for granted before. But all I want for the rest of my life is to wake up to her by my side, to raise our children together and to make music together again someday.” He says.  
He turns to Ally who has tears in her eyes now. He wipes them away and kisses her on the cheek.   
“You are my everything baby.” he says softly for just her to hear. Ally grabs hold of him with both hands and kisses him deeply.  
“Ok, I will go get Holly so we can eat” Lorenzo says, trying to ignore the two of them kissing.   
“Oh, dad. We aren’t telling her yet, so let’s keep this between us ok?” Ally says finally letting go of Jackson.  
Lorenzo just nods his head.

 

A few weeks go by. Ally has been spending more time with Jack, he has been staying over her house more. They are sneaking around. They don’t want Holly-or the press- to find out yet. They are scared of the reactions. They know Holly will be excited but they also know how hard the divorce was on her and she is just finally getting over it. So for now they sneak around. He comes over sometimes after holly is asleep, leaves early in the morning.

A few weeks later, doctors apt. Jack comes along. Dr. recognizes them, looks at them confused. Recognition probably, that they were divorced. “He’s the father” she says cooly.   
Is this the reaction they will get when the press finds out?  
Jack holds her hand during the visit, as they see their baby on the ultrasound. Ally is crying and Jack is holding her tight looking in her eyes and says “I love you so much” She looks up at him and smiles “We are really doing this again” and takes a deep breath.

On the way home they are both silent. Then Jack looks over at her, as she looks out the window, expressionless.  
“What is going on in that pretty little head of yours” he asks  
She looks at him with a small but weak smile.  
“Jack. What if this isn’t the right time for this. What will people think? You knocked me up while I was with someone else. That I’m a cheater. And Holly- we have to tell her not only is mommy and daddy together again but she is having a baby brother or sister? Isn’t that too much for her? Maybe we are doing this all wrong, moving too fast. Maybe it just isn’t the right time to add a baby into it all. We should be starting over slowly, and this baby just speeds things up, and what if that ruins us. When I was pregnant with Holly it affected our relationship. We both were thrown into it and it took us a long time to find our way, together. I don’t want to lose you again Jack, I can’t lose you again, and what if that is what this baby will do to us. With Holly, the press, our friends and family, some will be happy yes but not everyone will be. Can we both live with that and deal with this?” she rants.  
He pulls over. He takes her face in his hands.  
“Do I think we are ready for this baby? Maybe not. Did it happen too fast, yes. But without this baby I don’t think you would have found your way back to me. So do I think that there will be challenges that come our way, most definitely. But I believe in you Ally and us. We have dealt with the press before, let them say what they want. They always do anyways. But don’t think for a second that this baby is a bad idea. This baby was made out of love, love that is deep down in our souls. Because the love we have transcends everything else. As for Holly, she will be thrilled to have a sibling, you know she has always wanted one, and she has always wanted us together again. It’s always her wish.” he says looking directly at her as the tears stream down her face.  
“God how’d I get so lucky to find you?” she asks  
“If I remember correctly, I found you. And I haven’t let you go since.” he says.  
She kisses him softly.   
“Let’s go home. I think it’s time we tell Holly.” she says  
He smiles and starts driving to their house, where Lorenzo is waiting for them.  
“How’d it go? Everything ok?” he asks  
“Everything is great dad. Baby is healthy. Where’s Holly?” she asks  
“She’s playing with Charlie outside. I’m gonna go now, call me later” he says.

Ally and Jackson go outside and see Holly laying in the grass rolling over with Charlie. They both laugh. She looks over at them and runs to give them a hug.  
“Mommy and Daddy need to talk to you. Want to grab Charlie and come inside?” Ally says.  
Holly runs and gets Charlie and walks inside the living room with him.  
She plops down on the sofa as Ally and Jack sit on either side of her.  
“Holly. You know we both love you very much and nothing will ever change that right?” Ally says  
“I know mommy. What’s going on? You’re scaring me” Holly says confused.  
Ally looks over at Jackson for some help. He smiles.  
“Hunny, me and your mom are getting back together. We love each other very much…” he says as Holly interrupts him to scream.  
“Oh my god, finally! I knew my wish would come true one day!!” she yells.  
Ally and Jack both laugh at her reaction.  
“There's something else Holly. I’m having a baby. You’re gonna have a brother or sister.” Ally says.  
Holly stares at them and looks back and forth at both of them.  
“A baby? Really? I always figured that wouldn’t happen. I thought I’d be an only child forever!” She hugs Ally and kisses her belly.  
Ally looks up at Jack and smiles. He places his hand on hers and grips it tight, letting her know it’s gonna be ok. 

That night the three of them settle in and watch a movie together. Ally is resting between Jack’s legs with her head resting on her chest. His hands are wrapped around her waist. Holly is on the other end with her feet entwined with Ally’s. It doesn’t take long before Holly falls asleep. Jack gets up and carries her up to bed. He comes downstairs and sees Ally looking up at him seductively.   
He smiles, and goes over to her. He grabs her by the hand and leads her upstairs to the bedroom. He makes love to her gently yet passionately. They then fall asleep in eachothers arms.   
When Jackson wakes up he looks next to him at Ally. He loves mornings like this. Her hair a mess from the sex they had last night, the smile on her face as she sleeps, and her hand on his chest showing off her ring. Jack takes a deep breath. He knows he is getting lucky at a second chance with her. And he knows he can’t fuck it up. Just then the door swings open and Holly runs in, with Charlie following behind her.   
“Mommy, Daddy, wake up!” she yells jumping into the bed.   
“Shhh Holly. Let mommy sleep” Jack whispers.  
“Too late for that.” Ally says yawning.  
“Good, because I have a plan for today.” Holly exclaims.  
“Oh and what is that young lady?” Jackson asks  
“I want to go shopping for my baby brother or sister!” Holly says  
Ally and Jackson look at each other with their eyes wide open.  
“Baby, it’s too soon for that. We don’t even know if it’s gonna be a boy or a girl” Ally says. She knows if they go looking at baby stuff the press will go crazy. She looks to Jack.  
“Ya, how about we go shopping for you Holly. You can buy some new clothes, toys, whatever you want.” Jackson says trying to get her to forget about wanting to shop for the baby.  
“Fiiiine.


	7. What comes next?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Had to add some drama in there ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot I had already written a next chapter over a month ago and just never posted it. I've decided to try to write again, but don't know whether I should keep going with this or start something new. Any suggestions? Or things people want to see?

Out shopping.

They are both holding hands with Holly. 

Laughing. Nothing suspicious. They’ve done this before when out with their daughter.  
They are walking when out of nowhere they hear someone calling Jack’s name.  
They turn around and it’s Kat Stevens. She practically runs to Jackson. Ally stops dead in her tracks and looks a bit surprised. So does Jackson. He looks to Ally then to Kat.   
“Jack, oh my god, what a coincidence seeing you here! Have you not been getting my messages? I’ve been trying to get in touch with you!” Kat exclaims, kissing him on the cheek.  
“Uhh, sorry I’ve been real busy” he says trying to look away.  
“Well good thing we ran into each other then. I’ve missed you. Want to get together tonight? You can come by my place.” she says, almost not even noticing that Ally and Holly were standing right there.   
Jack looks over to Ally and sees the look in her eye. The scary look she reserves for when she is really really pissed at him. A look he hasn’t seen in a really long time.   
“Umm, actually Kat. I can’t. I’m sorry. Look, it was nice seeing you but I’m here with Holly and Ally to go shopping.” he says trying to move away.  
“Oh no, don’t say no on our account” Ally says looking smug. “Why don’t you guys catch up while me and Holly go shop around.” she says.  
Jack is scared now. He was right, she is beyond pissed. She grabs Holly’s hand and starts to walk away.  
“Ally wait” Jack tries to call out, but she doesn’t even flinch.  
Kat just puts her hand on his shoulder and says “I’ve missed you Jack. We had so much fun and then I just don’t hear from you again?” Kat asks, almost seductively.  
“Look Kat, all we did was sleep together, I shouldn’t have let it happen as much as I did. It was fun but that is all that it was. I’m with someone now and I love her. I’m sorry.” he says.  
“You love her? God Jack, we just fucked a few weeks ago and now you’re in love?” she yells.  
Jackson looks around, worried they would get attention.  
“I’m sorry Kat. You’re a great singer and I know you will have a successful career but please keep me out of it. I’m trying to get my life back together.” he pleads with her. If there is one thing he knows is that young musicians who are trying to make a name for themselves have no problem stirring up drama in the press to garner attention. And he already knows he will have to deal with Ally later about this. Which he is scared shitless about.  
“Goodbye Kat, Goodluck.” Jackson says walking away. He doesn’t turn to see her but she is already on her phone calling someone.

Jackson walks around looking for Ally and Holly to no avail. He texts her and asks where she is and all he gets is a 3 word response “we went home.” Jack runs his hands through his hair.   
He signs and calls for a driver to come pick him up. As he waits, he tries to rack his brain for what he will say to Ally when he gets home. 

When he opens the door to their house he hears Holly singing loudly in the living room. He breathes a sigh of relief. At least someone’s happy, he thinks. He walks in and sees her dancing around the room. She sees him and sings even louder, laughing.   
“Where’s mom” he asks.  
“She said she was tired and went to go lay down” Holly says  
“Holly, if she is tired maybe you could sing a little quieter ok?” he says  
“Fiiiiine” Holly whines.

Jack makes his way upstairs, trying to be quiet. He opens the door to her bedroom, the one that they shared for so many years, the one that he still doesn’t feel he belongs in again. Ally is laying down with her back to the door. He knows she isn’t sleeping.   
As he walks toward her she whispers out “How long have you been fucking her for?”   
Jackson is stunned. He is caught off guard and doesn’t know how to respond. She turns around to face him. Her eyes are bloodshot and he knows she was crying.  
“Al, look. It was before we got back together. It was nothing. Nothing. I promise. You were with Matt. I was lonely and she was there” he says going to sit down next to her.  
She laughs “She is beautiful huh. Not really surprised. I saw the tabloids showing you two. I just always thought you wouldn’t stoop to fucking a girl 20 years younger than you.” Ally spits out.   
Jackson goes to rub her arm but she jerks away.  
“Ally, I don’t want to fight with you. Not about something as stupid as this. She really means nothing to me. You know me Ally. Please tell me you know me better than that. The only only woman that I have feelings for, that I want to make love to and want to be with is you.” he says pleading with her.  
“Jack, I’m tired. Can we do this later. I really just want to rest. So if you could take your daughter somewhere so I could actually get some quiet that would be great.” she says.  
Jack sighs, but stands up to go. Then he reaches down and places on hand on her stomach and leans down and brushes his lips against hers gently.   
“I love you Ally.” he says before walking away.  
Ally lets one tear escape her eye before she falls asleep, truly exhausted.

Jackson texts Ally later that he took Holly to Bobby’s and they would stay the night so that she could get some quiet and sleep.   
Ally sighs reading it and gets out of bed. She lets Charlie out and then makes herself something to eat. She sits on the couch with Charlie just rubbing his ear, trying to forget about her fight with Jack. I mean he did have a point, she was with Matt. She was sleeping with him, hell she cheated on him with Jack. She wasn’t exactly innocent. She turns on the TV and sees the headline “Jackson Maine Scandal… coming up after the break” Ally starts to panic. Did someone find out about them? She goes to text Jackson and then she sees a picture of Jack and Kat on the screen. Making out. She puts the volume up. “Up and coming artist Kat Stevens says that Jackson is not as sober as he makes himself out to be. Kat and Jackson dated for a few months and Kat said the drinking led to their break up. She also says he admitted to her that he cheated on her in a drunken one night stand”  
Ally feels herself clench up. She doesn’t know what to think. Is this true? Or is Kat just angry that Jackson broke things off with her?   
Ally turns the TV off and tries to process everything. She is so glad Jackson and Holly aren’t here because she just wants to be left alone.   
Just then the front door opens and she hears Jackson call out for her.  
He finds her sitting on the couch wearing just a bra and a pair of pajama shorts.   
“Ally” he says exaspartly   
“I thought you were staying at Bobbys?” she asks  
“I was but then he got a call about the tabloids and Kat is spreading lies about me Ally. She’s mad about me ending things, not that there was really anything to end anyways” he says.  
“I saw what she said. It’s all over TV Jack. What the hell is going on? No more lies, I can’t handle it, please just tell me what’s real” She says looking straight into his eyes.  
Jackson sits down next to her and puts his hand on her thigh.  
“Ally I promise you everything she is saying is a lie. I haven’t had a drink in over a year. I’ve been honest with you about that every step of the way. Everytime I would relapse I would come to you first. You gotta believe me.” He says squeezing her leg.  
Ally looks up at him. She does believe him. Even when it was just a drink he’d take because he had a bad day he would always call her and tell her, then he’d go to his therapist. She’d know if he wasn’t sober. She knows how hard he has worked to be sober this long. She grabs hold of his hand.   
“I know baby, I do” she says.  
“Ally, she was mad that I told her I was in love, with you of course. All it was with her was sex. There were no feelings, at least not on my part. I’m sure the press is gonna tear me apart, she won’t stop. I need you on my side Al.” he says quietly.  
Ally grips his hand tighter.  
“This time I’m not going anywhere Jack. I won’t let her take you down without a fight from me.” Ally says getting all revved up.  
Jack laughs and grabs her and kisses her fiercely. This is the Ally he knows and loves. No one messes with her or the people she loves.  
“We are gonna have to tell people about us then Jack. Sooner than we wanted, because otherwise they are gonna believe the lies” Ally says.  
“I know. But let’s not think about that right now. Right now my beautiful wife is sitting next to me not wearing very much and looking so hot and all I want to do is fuck her. So please let me.” he says with a smirk.  
Ally laughs and bites her lip. She reaches for Jack and pulls him down on top of her. They don’t even bother going to the bedroom, they stay up having mind blowing sex that leaves them both exhausted. They fall asleep on the couch laying in each others arms, knowing that whatever happens tomorrow they are together through it all.

 

Next day:   
Ally wakes up to a text on her phone from Matt. She is surprised and opens it.  
“Saw the report about Jackson. Sorry that he couldn’t stay sober for you guys again. I’m here if you need to talk.”   
She then sees a message from her dad.  
“Ally hunny I’m so sorry. I really thought it would be different this time.”  
Ally jumps up and nudges Jackson awake.  
“What is it, I just want to sleep in” he says half asleep.   
“Jack. Wake up now! People are believing this shit Kat said. We need to damage control now!” she yells  
Jack sits up.   
“What are we gonna do, what can we say?” he asks  
“We tell the truth. Maybe not about the baby yet. But just that we are together now. That I was the one that cheated with you. That you’re not drinking and that bitch is just mad you don’t want her” she said crazily.  
“Ally, we have to be smart about this. I don’t want you getting hurt in the process. This needs to be on me.” he says holding onto her hand.  
“No Jack, we are doing this together. If you get hurt, I get hurt. That’s how this works with us.” she says kissing his hand.  
“Look, I’m going to go get Holly. I’ll talk to Bobby about what to do. Maybe we put out a statement? I’m not sure yet.” Jack says getting up.  
“Ok, I’m gonna take a shower and get dressed. I’ll see you when you get back and we will figure it out.” she says giving him a kiss first.

“Bobby, what do I do? Ally is hell bent on fixing this. I don’t know what to do without it getting worse. Will people believe anything I say at this point?” Jackson says.  
“Jack you gotta get ahead of it. Ally’s got a point. People believe her and when she says you’re sober people will trust her. When they find out that you two are back together they will go wild with excitement. How you do it is up to you both. We can put out a statement, or you can post something on social media for the fans. It’s up to you and Ally.” Bobby says.

When Jack returns home with Holly, Ally is sitting at the table eating lunch.   
“Hey Holly girl. How was Uncle Bobby’s? Did you have a good time?” Ally asks.  
“Of course mom but I’m glad to be home too.” she says sitting down next to her mom.  
“Sorry I didn’t wait for you guys for lunch. When this baby wants to eat he or she waits for no one.” Ally says laughing.  
“It’s ok baby. I’ll make something for me and Holly. But first, we should decide how we want to proceed. Bobby says either a statement or a social media post. It’s up to you.” He says sitting down and taking her hand in his.  
“Let’s post. That way it goes directly to our fans. I’d rather them get the news than the reporters.” Ally says smiling.  
“Ok, let’s eat then we can think of what we want to say” Jack says getting up and making lunch.  
After they eat Holly goes to her room to watch some TV. Ally and Jack sit at the table with their computer out.  
“Let’s post this picture of us” Ally says pointing to one Jackson took the other day. It’s the three of them, Ally is resting on Jack with her hand (showing her ring) on his chest. Ally is looking up in Jackson’s eyes and Holly is nestled near Ally not even realizing that a picture was being taken.   
“It’s perfect. What should we say?” He asks  
“Don’t always believe everything you read in the tabloids. Sometimes there is a lot that they don’t know. For starters, we are back together. Our love for each other and our family goes beyond anything that could be written about us. Jack is not drinking again, nor has he ever cheated on anyone. Kat is angry that Jack didn’t want a relationship with her. Whatever they had going on is in the past and happened before we got back together. He wishes her success in her career but wishes that she would leave him and his family alone.”   
“You’re amazing, you know that?” Jack tells Ally.  
“I know. You tell me all the time” Ally giggles.  
They hit send and log off the computer. Whatever happens, happens from here on out. At least they got to put out their side.

They call Holly down and go outside to play with her and Charlie. It was a beautiful day out and Jackson lovingly looked at his family. Ally is chasing after Holly laughing and Charlie is by Jackson’s feet chewing on a bone. He really did get lucky, he things to himself. He catches Ally’s eye and she smiles at him. He runs out to her and grabs her and kisses her passionately.  
“Eww, mom and dad I love you but just no, eww.” Holly exclaims.  
Ignoring her, Ally looks at Jack “What was that for?” she asks “not that I’m complaining”  
“For loving me. For always taking my hand and leading me into the light. I don’t know where I would be if it wasn’t for you.” he says  
She grabs him and kisses him, gently this time. Holly rolls her eyes.  
“You loved me before I even loved myself Jack. And you gave me the greatest gift, right there” she says pointing to Holly, then pointing down at her belly “and right there. Our miracle baby” she says hugging him.

When they go inside later that day they both have dozens of messages and missed calls. Apparently their post was a success because people are going crazy. Their fans are so happy to see them back together and are slamming Kat for trying to bring Jackson down.   
Ally holds onto Jack’s hand. “I told you it would all work out baby. People love us together. That’s stronger than anything that bitch Kat has to say” she says.  
Jack smiles at her. “I love you Ally. Thank you.” he says  
Ally sits down on his lap and puts her head to his chest.   
“I love you too.” she says.


	8. When I think of us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ally and Jack face the past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had this written for a while but am feeling defeated with the story and stuck. If anyone has ideas I'm open to suggestions!

1 month later:   
Now that their relationship is out in the open, Ally and Jackson have gotten closer. Jackson sold his apartment and is now living back with Ally and Holly.   
Ally wakes up to Jackson nestled behind her, his hand draped over her stomach. She is starting to show now and they know it is a matter of time before everyone finds out that she is pregnant. But for now they are enjoying keeping it to themselves.   
Ally turns in Jackson’s arms and kisses him on the cheek. His eyes flutter open. He smiles looking her right in the eyes. He kisses her softly, then more passionately.   
“Mmm hi” says Jackson as he pulls away.  
“Good morning Jack” Ally says, giving him another swift kiss.  
Ally moves to get up, and Jackson pulls her back down.  
“No, can’t we stay in bed today? I miss this, just the two of us laying together.” Jack says.  
“Baby, Holly will be up soon. I told her I would take her to the playground today and then maybe the beach. I thought maybe we could all go?” Ally asks looking up at Jackson.  
Jackson laughs, “As if I could ever say no to hanging out with my two favorite girls.”   
“But- my dad was asking to take Holly tonight so if you want… we can sleep in tomorrow.” Ally says.  
“Hmmm, the house to ourselves? I can think of something better than sleeping that we can do.” Jackson says smirking.  
Ally smiles at him, gives him a kiss and gets up.  
“Well then, I look forward to tomorrow.” Ally says as she goes into the bathroom to get ready for the day.

At the playground:  
Jackson is pushing Holly on the swing as Ally sits on the bench. Holly is laughing as Jack pushes her higher and higher. Ally is smiling watching them. Subconsciously, she starts rubbing her stomach. She already loves this baby so much. She loves that this baby brought her back to Jack. Holly runs up to her just then and gives her a hug.   
“Mommy, I’m going to go play in the sandbox. Watch me!” Holly yells.  
“Of course baby. I’m always watching you.” Ally says.  
Jackson comes up and sits down next to her.  
“Jack?” Ally asks looking up.  
“Yes, Ally.” Jack says.  
“I’m happy. I’m so happy. With you, with Holly, this baby. I never want to forget what this feels like. Having this much love for someone. I love you so much Jack.” Ally says  
“Oh Ally, you don’t know how much I love you. Look at that little girl over there, she is our love. This baby right here (Jack touches her stomach), that is our love.” Jack says, leaning down and kissing her. “We have so much to look forward to together Ally and I won’t ever waste a second of it again.”   
Ally smiles up at him. She looks over at Holly and sees paparazzi snapping pictures of her.   
She runs up and grabs Holly, as Jackson sees what is happening. Holly protests leaving but seeing how mad her mom is she listens.   
In the car Ally is yelling at how they can’t go anywhere without the paparazzi finding out where they are, but with Holly, that is where she draws the line.  
Jack rubs Ally’s leg.  
“Let’s just go home. We can watch a movie, and I’ll make popcorn. Sound good?” Jackson asks.  
“Only if I can choose the movie!” Holly yells.  
“As if we’d ever have a say in movie choice” Jack laughs.  
He looks at Ally and smiles. He squeezes her leg and she looks up and nods her head at him.  
The next day Jackson gets a call from Bobby. Gossip sites were going crazy over a report that Ally was pregnant. Jackson knew he had to tell Ally about this but was a little fearful of how she’d take it. She likes to be in control of these things, and wanted to be the one to tell their fans about it.   
He makes lunch and brings it outside to where Ally is resting.   
“Thanks, this looks delicious” Ally says to Jackson.  
“I just hope it tastes good too. I hate to have to tell you this Ally but I just got a call from Bobby. The press found out. It’s all over the internet.” Jackson says.  
“My pregnancy? I guess it was bound to come out sooner or later. I was hoping for more time but it is what it is right?” Ally says nonchalantly.   
Jack looks at her confused.  
“What?” Ally asks.  
“I just expected a different reaction is all.” Jack says.  
“Yes well no point in getting worked up about it. I guess we can still put out a statement so that we have some say. You can tell Bobby he can say that the rumors are true. And that we are beyond excited for this beautiful gift and we look forward to a happy life together with our family.” Ally says.  
“Done. It makes it even more real, huh? Now that the whole world will know.” Jackson says.  
“Very real. I can’t wait to meet him or her. We find out at my next appointment what it is. Will you be coming?” Ally asks  
“You know I wouldn’t miss one.” Jackson tells her.  
“Thanks. I kind of hope it’s a boy. I want a little Jack. I want him to be just like you.” She says.  
“Don’t say that. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy, let alone my own child.” Jackson says.  
“Jack, baby, you are amazing. You are the best father I could have ever chosen for my children. You have your struggles but you always come through them. I want our child to be everything you are, all the light you are and to have the courage you have to deal with your darkness. You are my light Jackson. You have been since the moment I met you.” Ally says.  
Jackson kisses her passionately.   
“God Ally. Let’s go inside. I need you now and I’ve never been so happy your dad has Holly.” Jack says.  
Ally laughs and grabs Jack’s hand and leads him inside. 

 

 

 

Jackson wakes up and reaches over for Ally. But Ally isn’t there. He rolls over and looks at the time. 3:24. He hears the faint sounds of the piano coming from their music room. Intrigued, he shuffles out of bed. He peaks into Holly’s room and sees she is still fast asleep. He then makes his way downstairs. He sees Ally sitting at the piano. She is wearing one of Jackson’s old band tees and her hair is messy. It looks like she hasn’t slept at all. He stops before she can notice him. She starts to hum, then starts to sing. 

“Don't leave me in all this pain  
Don't leave me out in the rain  
Come back and bring back my smile  
Come and take these tears away  
I need your arms to hold me now  
The nights are so unkind  
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me”

Jackson’s heart dropped. Was she singing about him? He doesn’t know whether he should go to her or walk away and pretend he hasn’t heard it. Before he has time to think what to do, he hears Holly calling for her parents.   
Ally turns and sees Jackson standing in the doorway. She looks startled; Jackson just turns around and walks quickly to Holly’s room. Ally feels cemented to the piano. Jackson heard her sing. His song. The song she wrote soon before they broke up. A song no one has ever heard.  
She slowly gets up and walks up the stairs to Holly’s room. Jack is hugging Holly; sitting on the edge of her bed.   
“Just a nightmare. She’s ok” Jack says, without looking up.  
“Jack” Ally starts, but he puts his hand out for her. She reaches out and takes it and sits down next to him and Holly.  
“Mommy can I sleep with you and daddy tonight?” Holly asks.  
“Of course baby. Grab your pillow.” Ally says standing up.   
The three of them make their way into Jack and Ally’s bed. Holly sleeps next to Ally who lays a protective hand on her side. She kisses her head then rolls over to face Jack.  
He looks down at her sadly.  
“I’m sorry I fucked it all up Ally. I know I did. And I don’t deserve you. We weren’t doing well and instead of fighting for you I chose to leave. I got on that bus and toured knowing I was leaving you to raise Holly by yourself. To make it all worse I got fucked up everytime I left.”  
He sees tears in Ally’s eyes.  
“Jack, that song, I wrote that before I left you. I was just so hurt. Lonely. Rejected. I couldn’t understand how I wasn’t enough for you but at the same time I would have done anything to have you come back to me and stay with me. With us.” she says.

 

Flashback   
5 years ago, Holly is a year and a half old. 

“Are you fucking serious right now Jack?” Ally screams.  
“Baby, just come with me then. I’ll get someone to come watch Holly.” Jack says.  
“I’m not letting some random person come watch MY child! I told you I didn’t want to go to this party. It’s just one big “let’s get fucked up on any drug we can find” party. You want to go- then fine go Jack. But I don’t want you coming back here to me or Holly when you’re high and drunk.” She yells out at him.  
“Whatever Ally. I’ll get a room somewhere then. I don’t care. I’m tired of you nagging me about everything I do. Do I not care for you and Holly well enough? I’m home every single fucking day for you both. Cut me a little slack- sometimes I just want to go out and enjoy myself” he says exacerbated.   
Ally sighs, turns around and heads to her bedroom.  
A few minutes later she hears the slam of the front door and knows Jack has left to go to that stupid party.  
She knows she was being hard on him but she also knows that by him going he just gave in once again to drugs and alcohol. She wishes for just once that she could be enough for him. 

A few hours later, and she hears the front door slam shut. It startles her awake. She looks at the clock. It’s almost 4am. She knows that must be Jack. So she gets out of bed and heads downstairs. She hears whispers and then the sound of glass breaking. She turns the light on and looks into the living room. Some woman is holding Jack up by the waist; not doing a very good job because they just broke her favorite vase that was on the table.   
“What the fuck?” Ally yells out.  
The woman looks up at her, “Hey sorry I didn’t know where else to bring him so someone told me to just bring him home. I’m sorry, he’s pretty messed up.”   
“Who the fuck are you? And why are you with my husband?” Ally growls out.  
“Sorry, I’m Sydney. I was waitressing at a party your husband was at tonight. I was one of the only sober ones left so I offered to bring him home.” she says looking down.  
Ally walks toward her and grabs Jack from her. She practically throws him onto the couch.   
“Thank you. I appreciate it. Though I would have just left him there. He needs to start cleaning up his own messes.” Ally lets out.  
“I’m sorry. I just figured…” Sydney starts.  
“It’s not your fault sweetie. Go home. Thanks again” Ally says.  
After Sydney leaves, Ally walks up to Jack. She is so angry at him. She knew this was exactly how the night would end. Which is why she didn’t want him going and didn’t want him coming back here after if he did.   
She turns him on his side and walks back to her room to go back to bed. 

A few hours later Ally wakes up to the sound of Holly crying. She goes to her room and picks her up gently. It’s 8:30 now, her usual wakeup. So, she goes downstairs to make her some breakfast. She sees Jack asleep on the couch, just where she left him. She really doesn’t want to deal with him today. So, she decided when she is done feeding Holly they will take a ride to her dad’s house for the day.

At Lorenzo’s  
“Baby, why do you continue to do this to yourself. Why do you let him do this to you?” her dad asks.  
“Because dad, I made a vow to stay with him, in sickness and in health. Unfortunately, the sickness is his own doing. He needs me, and I need him. I don’t know if I could ever walk away from him, I love him too damn much.” Ally said.  
Ally knows she needs to talk to Jack about what’s going on between them but she is scared to be honest. Scared that it will only cause him to block her out. 

Back at home:  
Jack wakes up and finds the house empty. He doesn’t remember much of last night but knows it wasn’t good. He is sure that Ally is pissed off and probably left so she didn’t have to be there when he woke up. He knows to fear a pissed off Ally. Especially when he has a hangover like he does now. He goes to the kitchen to get water and Tylenol. Then he goes upstairs to their bedroom and falls back asleep. Next thing he knows Ally is sitting on the side of the bed. Oh no, Jack thought. This won’t be good. Ally turns when she hears him and looks up at him. A look of disappointment. A look that says everything she can’t. Jack feels miserable.   
Jack sits down next to Ally on the bed.  
“How do you feel” Ally asks.  
“Ally-” Jack starts.  
“Please Jack, don’t. I can’t keep this going. I can’t keep just hoping you’ll change. That me and Holly can somehow get you to stop. I’m scared Jackson- scared that one day you won’t come home and I can’t stand that thought.” Ally says, now crying.  
“Why wouldn’t I come home?” Jack asks.  
“You aren’t happy here Jack. Why else would you go get fucked up. Drink so much. I make you angry, and the drinking and drugs help you forget for just a bit that you have us.” Ally states.  
“Ally no” Jackson says grabbing her hand. “God Ally, how could you think that. I was fucked up before I met you. This isn’t your fault. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Me doing what I do, it’s to deal with myself, the bad thoughts in my head. That’s not you Ally. I love you so much it burns me up inside to see you upset. How can I prove that to you” he asks.  
“Just be here Jackson. Really be here. I need you right now. I can’t do this alone. You keep saying you want another baby Jackson, but I can’t bring a child into this. Not now.” Ally says.  
“Baby, I promise you I’ll try. I want your babies, I want you.” he reaches over and kisses her.   
“Jack I fucking love you so much it hurts. Don’t hurt me. I can’t bear it.” she says, giving him another kiss.  
He grabs her and pulls her down on the bed so she is laying down. He lays down next to her and grabs her waist.  
“One thing we do really well is make up sex” Jack says with a laugh.  
“That’s because sex with you is my own drug Jack.” Ally says looking up at him with seductive eyes.  
“Fuck Ally, how did I get so lucky to have you?” he asks.


End file.
